Author Archives: Laneene

Mum.

How do you carry on

When your heart breaks?

Going through the motions

Numb, on auto pilot.

Two fractured sides

One screaming at the

Unreality of your leaving.

The other….just existing

In a sureal reality.

Dam will break, eventually.

Or I will revert to the

Old habits.

Burying the pain, self medicated

In unhealthy ways.

I feel so lost, so alone!

50 years of you always there,

A mothers love is unconditionally mine.

My longest friend, strongest supporter

And the one who loved me

With deepest love.

To see the life leave you,

Your eyes grow dim, glassy,

Your breath, labouring

My fear, even then you were trying

To calm me.

I miss you.

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It’s been a while

The last few months have been full on.  Moving house, taking care of Ma after her hip operation.  Sadly,  5 months after it she passed away totally unexpectedly. 

I have also started a bachelor degree again that I defered last year. Really excited about this.  

Will try and be more consistent with the website.  As I miss writing, to me it is such a healthy and healing way to work through what needs working through.  

 

You Called Me A Contra

Totally get the sentiment in this.

Charlotte Cuevas

I was supposed to call you
every now and then,
I was supposed to ask you
how you’ve been.

But once you drove far enough away
not to care anymore
I never did.

I still know a song about dinosaurs we wrote
but I don’t know a thing
about you now.

Because you’d shave your head in secret
and say that we were close,
because you called me a contra
after all that time.

We were never supposed to change,
were we?

All that talk about honesty,
it came with hard conditions,
and I was never really the plan.
Not a contra.

It’s been a hundred years
but I think you’re fine
that I never called
’cause you called me a contra.

And a hundred years of maybe
becoming a contra
after all.

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Know your place.

 

Below is my latest ditty, written over the last week or so after realising my place in anothers life. #SoWhat #itaintovertillitsover 

 

Know your place . ..

Fair weather friend

Know your place…

Compliant friend

Know your place…

Don’t ever disagree  with me friend

Know  your place…

Unsullied waters and resonable friend

Know your place…

Always forgiving and giving  friend

Know  your fucking  place. ..

Never question me friend

Know your place . . . 

‘Yes mam’ me friend

Know your place…

For once you stand up to me

Challenge my behavior 

Call me out on my drama 

I’m going to drop you like you never existed . ..cos thats what I do

To those who forget their fair weather  place. 

 

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