Blog Archives


How do you carry on

When your heart breaks?

Going through the motions

Numb, on auto pilot.

Two fractured sides

One screaming at the

Unreality of your leaving.

The other….just existing

In a sureal reality.

Dam will break, eventually.

Or I will revert to the

Old habits.

Burying the pain, self medicated

In unhealthy ways.

I feel so lost, so alone!

50 years of you always there,

A mothers love is unconditionally mine.

My longest friend, strongest supporter

And the one who loved me

With deepest love.

To see the life leave you,

Your eyes grow dim, glassy,

Your breath, labouring

My fear, even then you were trying

To calm me.

I miss you.


Be the best you can be.

What an amazing few weeks it has been. Some amazing highs and lowest of lows.  It is one of those cross road seasons, which road to take? Hmm, we shall see. The rest of my year is going to be full on and will no doubt fly by.

Seriously ūüíĖ studying again, it is so cool. This is my time to shine and you can bet that ¬†I’m sure as hell not going to let anything, stop me. The future is bright and I ¬†know you ¬†all have been a huge comfort, and support. ¬†Know I ¬†appreciate each and everyone of you who have ¬†had my back over the last few years.

Its Time!

“From where you sit, it may seem that certain people should know better. People are who they are and do what they do whether or not you like it or agree with them. We each have different lessons to learn. We each take a different path to our lessons.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant

So true, we each walk our own path. Sometimes, it is completely alone. Often though, they journey alongside us for a time. ¬†Teaching us, loving us, challenging us, hindering or stopping us for a time. ¬†Our mission is to keep moving though…we are significant!

How that significance plays out depends on who we know we are inside,  That when we reflect it outside we bring a depth of personality/character that changes all who come in contact with us.  We choose! No one else has that right or power over us unless we give it to them.

How many times in my childhood….how many times in YOUR childhood when we did not have a say in what was said or done to us, were we so diminished, demoralised and burdened by ¬†other peoples ¬†view of who we should be?

I struggled with this, my perception of who I knew I was and who I was told I was could have enslaved me in such a negative way. ¬†I chose to stand alone and be different, not part of the ‘in crowd’ and it was lonely, hard slog and behind my smile a heart aching to be loved for me and accepting that some people never would. What a revelation! It ¬†was that which gave me the courage to just be me, I’m ok, a strong woman who is a survivor ¬†but also a resolution to always be true to myself. ¬†That is the essence of true freedom!

When you go against who you are…it causes such an unease to your Spirit…It WILL destroy you and you will become a shadow of someone elses creating.

Who did you see as a child? What dream was given you? Are you living it? If not…Why?

Remember that people will reflect back who they see themselves to be on the inside, they will not all have chosen to be significant and so will be threatened by you. Shine anyway! Recognize those ‘words of advice’ ¬†and weigh them thoroughly before accepting them as your truth.

I have learned to love them even though I don’t agree with them. ¬†That is the key. To love and always show kindness to all. ¬†I’m not perfect, I have my times of deep hurting but I have also learned to not carry/accept¬†others emotional wounds/scars as my own. Learn from them…yes ¬†BUT do not allow yourself to be a dumping ground.

#StandStrong and become all you know in your heart, in your core self that you are meant to be. ¬†I believe in you! ¬†I ‚̧ You.

#Dream #Create #Be

Working the process


Below is part of a post I shared with a FB group. ¬†It is an interesting time in my life as I acknowledge, heal and release. ¬†Allowing myself to feel the emotions I’ve been so scared to show for fear of never being able to stand the pain that goes with.

BUT by not doing so I’m treading water,staying put and not moving forward into my destiny calling. ¬†So even though it is only a few months into these big life decisions I am confident it will be ok in the end. ¬†Forgiving is key, being gentle on me is key, allowing others in is key….this is what I shared,

‘I’m working through a lot of grief and wondering why I have suffered through so much…I was on holidays a week or so ago and had a breakthrough whilst chatting with a very wise lady. I cried, really allowed myself to cry for the first time in years…now it is hard to stop BUT thats ok…I’m releasing and healing…it’s all good. I know now that my pain and journey are going to be a light shining in the darkness to help others . That is my giving back…sharing my story incomplete as it is. God only knows why I’ve been through what I have, it is how we respond that makes the tragedies of life into victories..I choose to respond with an openness to hope, love and remaining kindhearted. hope that makes sense’

#GodOnlyKnows #Forgiveness #Kindness #PureLove

%d bloggers like this: