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Working the process

humility

Below is part of a post I shared with a FB group.  It is an interesting time in my life as I acknowledge, heal and release.  Allowing myself to feel the emotions I’ve been so scared to show for fear of never being able to stand the pain that goes with.

BUT by not doing so I’m treading water,staying put and not moving forward into my destiny calling.  So even though it is only a few months into these big life decisions I am confident it will be ok in the end.  Forgiving is key, being gentle on me is key, allowing others in is key….this is what I shared,

‘I’m working through a lot of grief and wondering why I have suffered through so much…I was on holidays a week or so ago and had a breakthrough whilst chatting with a very wise lady. I cried, really allowed myself to cry for the first time in years…now it is hard to stop BUT thats ok…I’m releasing and healing…it’s all good. I know now that my pain and journey are going to be a light shining in the darkness to help others . That is my giving back…sharing my story incomplete as it is. God only knows why I’ve been through what I have, it is how we respond that makes the tragedies of life into victories..I choose to respond with an openness to hope, love and remaining kindhearted. hope that makes sense’

#GodOnlyKnows #Forgiveness #Kindness #PureLove

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Suicide

A friend wrote on FB

‘Suicide doesn’t end your pain…. It just transfers it to the people who love you.’

My response was,

It is such a subtle lie…having been on the verge in my deepest depression. You feel that your family and friends are better off without you. Watching you suffering, tormented etc, is the lie. Or you are so consumed in your pain you can’t even comprehend what you’ll be putting others through…you just want the pain to stop…It is a very dark place, a sad place and yet a very calm space in those moments of decision…For me, it was my faith and my Ma’s unconditional love that brought from the brink…It is not a selfish decision…in fact it is the opposite if that makes sense. It will to those who have been to the edge…those who haven’t ….it won’t, will probably anger them. I was blessed to have such a deep connection with my Mum, I couldn’t hurt her that way after all she was doing to love me through…if she hadn’t been there? I wouldn’t be writing this.

The journey is never seen clearly....

The journey is never seen clearly….

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The key!

“The grace to be a beginner is always the best prayer for an artist. The beginner’s humility and openness lead to exploration. Exploration leads to accomplishment. All of it begins at the beginning, with the first small and scary step . . . .

Wherever you are is always the right place. There is never a need to fix anything, to hitch up the bootstraps of the soul and start at some higher place. Start right where you are.”
― Julia Cameron

I have been reading the book of hers called ‘The Right to Write’ and found it to be so liberating, exciting and freeing…it has been my key to unblocking. Simply learning tools/skills to feel empowered. I listen to what wants to be heard and write it down…a simple truth!

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